i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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