I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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