College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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