she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Randomize
