Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
