I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
