you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
