i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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