Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize