Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she looked like the before picture.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
