he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
