His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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