my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
