that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Randomize
