"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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