# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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