Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
