I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
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