One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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