thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
