if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
