Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
