I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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