come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
