scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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