I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
