you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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