wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
