He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize