Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
