he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
