i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
