I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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