Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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