i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
either way he was missing a nipple.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
