You're completely useless in the revolution.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My penis needs a shock collar
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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