i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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