I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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