You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
not ubering you a puppy
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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