I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
