she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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