Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
