think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
