cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
