I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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