STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
