also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
tell me about the fingering
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize