never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
