its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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