gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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