i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
