I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
