it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
