it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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