Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
barbara walters just said penis...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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