I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
