I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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