this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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