bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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