So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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