The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
