We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
