I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize