Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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